The year is about to end. 2018. Bad year for this blog. Didn’t do much here. And yet, can’t let go of Vatsap.com. Can’t let go off this blog. There is something about writing that even when I don’t write at all for months, I know there is a space for it in my life.
These days when I am shooting a wedding, I wonder what I am doing there. There has to be better use of my time, than trying to do photography. The scope of this photography is very limited. Yes, it’s art, but why is it necessary? And more importantly, why do I need to spend time on dong it again and again. If this sounds like I am bored, that’s not necessarily true. I am always charged up in every wedding that I shoot. I am never in a ‘comfort zone’ as such. I just think, there are better things I should be dong – from a ‘scope’ point of view. But the thing is, I already do that too. Except that, the ‘bigger scope’ things are not necessarily money making. And thus, wedding photography has essentially become a need to sustain the other things that definitely bring me more joy. Telling stories. Powerful stories. Impactful stories. And yet, I didn’t do a great job at telling powerful stories this year. I made a few, and shot a few. But majority of my short documentary work was commissioned assignments, where I was paid and hired to create work.
Do I sound like complaining? I didn’t intend to, when I started writing. I just intended to note down my thoughts which are what they are. What else is the use of this blog now, other than to note down my thoughts. And thoughts are not so much in our control. Sometimes, they might sound complaining. But rationally speaking, I have already been working on plans to make my life align more to what brings me more joy. My joy is linked to working on stuff that has a bigger outreach, a bigger scope.
I invested considerable time and money for second half of this year, to churn up more content for my Youtube channel, primarily with the objective of gaining more subscribers. The subscription count stands at 14,000 today. It was around 300 just two years ago. I had wanted to achieve 1 lakh this year, but it is what it is. Let’s see how the year ends. Lot of wedding work this month (that will carry on for most of December) and the remaining time filled with commissioned 3MSes, little time left to do anything else. But there is always time, if I think about it. I can’t say I have been the most efficient. Over work often takes a toll, and then follows several days of inefficiency. I have always been a victim of that mode of working. That’s just me.
Anyway, what’s up with you guys! Or Vatsap? rather! 🙂