As long as the journey doesn’t kill me…

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It’s kind of hot and humid and sweaty at five thirty in the morning. Got up early just like that, mainly because I slept off early. I am sitting here at the Dona Paula house in Goa. The fan is making a tak tak sound. Actually, let me go put the AC on, and come back to write.

** Goes and switches the AC on **

The financial scene got so bad last month that I started looking for jobs. But then I got some work eventually and had enough to pay for rent and eat. Times like these one must go through, I guess. I was lucky to never face a situation like this before. But surviving such tough days is probably the only way to go ahead! I hope so! If it were easy to be on your own and chase what you truly wanted to do, and succeed at it, everyone would be doing it! 🙂 You have to be crazy enough to take risks that can kill you. And it’s okay to die in the process. To me, what’s not okay is to give up. But all it takes is “no money” to almost give up. The mind goes crazy. Some nights, you want to just go drown in the sea and let it all end. On other nights, you tell yourself “all is well”. Talking about your problem with other entrepreneurs / freelancers helps. When you do that, they tell you they went through that “no money” phase at one point or another. They survived. And that kind of conversation makes you feel normal.

Someone from insti looped me in few conversations that revolved around donating money to insti. And suddenly you notice all these guys from your very own college, doing high profile jobs across the globe, making money and all that – thinking about donating! Millions of dollars! You on the other side, are figuring out how to make just enough to pay your bloody rent! It makes you wonder if what you have put yourself through by chucking a set career, is even worth it! I want to make more money than any of these guys. But I don’t want to do that by doing things that one does just to make money. I want to get super rich by doing things that I truly care about! And I know I will get there. It’s the journey that’s frustrating and stressful and sometimes tests your inner grit. As long as the journey doesn’t kill me, it’s fine though.