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Salinger, Wild Hogs and Tiwari

I would have been making a Shitoon right now because I have an idea for a new joke, you know. I am writing this post instead. This is one thing that Salinger does to me. He makes me write. I was reading Catcher in the Rye long back – last month may be. It was a small book so I could have finished it then only. But the pirated version had a problem – it had blank pages. After having read about 100 pages, I realized that every once in a while, a pair of pages would go blank! It was so irritating. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to skip pages just for the heck of finishing the book. It was then that I decided to pick an original from somewhere. I couldn’t find it anywhere – I tried only in the Oxford bookstore though. There aren’t more bookshops in Bhubaneswar anyway. It was only few days back, this Sunday actually, when I finally found out this cute book in the shop and oh boy, did I jump with joy! And it was only few minutes back that I finally finished it. And then I felt like writing myself – this is one thing that Salinger does to me. He makes me write.

Wild Hogs – everyone should watch this movie. It’s not too great or mind blowing or insanely funny or anything like that. But everyone who is planning to do a crazy bike-trip and all should watch it – Wild Hogs. The movie is sweet and cute, you know. There are like four friends, all ageing and all that and getting sick of their lives and then one day they generally decide to go for some bike trip without any plans and stuff and without their wives. Since it’s a movie, very funny things happen and of course in the end it’s all goody goody and all that. I mean I laughed a lot as I saw it being shown on Star Movies. I sometimes felt like crying too even when the movie never really tried to be too senti. But I felt like crying anyway. Bike trips and friends and all that – such things make you feel like crying when you are away from such things, put up in a guest house built on a 10 ft by 10 ft island in the middle of the Pacific. I am not saying that Bhubaneswar is so small and that there’s sea water all around, but it feels nice to crib anyway.

The awesome thing is that I am myself going on a crazy bike-trip in less than ten days. It’s not that I got inspired by Wild Hogs or anything. Hell, it wasn’t even my own idea. It came from Tiwari. Such things come from Tiwari, you know. He is normal otherwise but somtimes he comes up crazy plans and you have to love him for that. I would love him anyway but I like him so much more when he proposes a crazy plan like riding a bike for like ten days. Back in my second year in IIT, this guy proposed that he, me and Anshuman should go cycling from Insti to Mahabalipuram – that was like 80 Kms to and fro. Myself and Anshuman acted like bastards you know – we said yes, yes, let’s go, let’s go and then we never really went. And then one night Tiwari came to us and told us he was coming back from Mahabalipuram. He told us he went all alone on his Hero Hawk a friend’s borrowed bicycle in the morning and returned back alive. Suddenly he was like the man and we felt like pussies. I don’t know about Anshuman but I certainly felt like a pussy you know. I also felt bad that he had to go all alone and all that. So in the next few days – the three of us finally went together cycling to Mahabalipuram – and even made a video with some random rock music and all that after coming back. You know what, we started this trend soon – junta in insti started taking this trip. I don’t know if they still take such trips at IIT, but anyway, it was Tiwari who started it. Such things come from Tiwari, you know. He is normal otherwise but somtimes he comes up crazy plans and you have to love him for that.

11 replies on “Salinger, Wild Hogs and Tiwari”

Tiwari did not go on his Hero Hawk when he went for the first time…. He borrowed Ghoda’s Hero Jet and went on that… that is the best cycle to make long cycle trips….

Took the liberty of re-writing this nice piece..Hope you dont sue me! 😛

A tale of Blank Books and Blanker Stares

Salinger makes me write. His words move me (read: my lazy ass) to write something original. About a month back, I was reading this footpath copy of the “Catcher in the rye” and to my utter irritation, some of the pages were blank. No, not the akshaye khanna–in-taal blank, I’m talking CIA during 9-11 blank.
This undeniably moved me. Much potential energy was converted to kinetic energy to get up, put on some decent clothing, drive to the nearest book store – there is only one semi decent store in Bhubaneswar – and search for an original non-blank copy of “Catcher in the rye”. Guess what? This time around, the store clerk went blank on me! I had to use all the patience of a BPO executive to prevent myself from bestowing upon him a Winker in the eye.
So, when I finally got my hands on the cute li’l book this Sunday, I was much beyond thrilled! Thanks to the resulting hyperventilation, my mind went blank. Upon recovery, I promptly finished the book, drank a couple of beers, and here I am, bursting with a million ideas to write and about 2 liters of pee.
When one is living in a cramped 10ft by 10ft island – which by the way is a luxurious 2BHK in Mumbai – one does miss the most important thing in a man’s life. His Bike. So, there I was, innocently watching “Wild Hogs” on star movies one moment, the next instant saw me plunged abruptly into an emotional rollercoaster down memory lane. I have many memories involving my bike you see. My faithful Hero Hawk. Friends, I wholeheartedly suggest this movie to all those men, desperate for a break from their nagging better halves. Oh! So that’s all the married men you say. Ok, whatever.
Without giving away the compelling storyline, Wild Hogs is all about 4 middle aged dumb twits, who take a crazy road trip – like driving from Delhi to Gurgaon – on their bikes.
I’m going a road trip in a couple of weeks myself. Yay! I know. No, this is not a Wild Hogs aftermath. Neither do I have a nagging wife, Not yet! This idea came from my personal Wild Hog – Shriman Tiwari. My buddy from insti days. He is quite a normal dude – while sleeping i.e – but occasionally gets these whacky ideas. I love him for who he is. Especially when asleep and harmless.

Back in 2nd year, Tiwari proposed that Anshuman and I accompany him on a bicycle trip to Mahabalipuram. Which, for the uninitiated, is just 64 million light years away from Chennai by bicycle. After considerable rolling of eyes, Anshuman and I responded with a concise yet meaningful BLANK STARE. Just like the batsman who received a yorker from Venkatesh Prasad, we both knew it was a BIG BIG mistake. We knew he didn’t mean it.

So, When one day, Tiwari told us, quote “I’m back from Mahabs you pussies!” our immediate response was a deafening “WTF!”. From that day on, Tiwari became – Super Tiwari a.k.a Supari – in my eyes. In the following weeks, armed with bicycles, a video camera and lots of batteries, the three of us set out for Mahabalipuram. After making it back alive, we added a cool rock number to the video, and it soon inspired many in the insti to take such trips. So, when people ask me “what really inspired you to take such a trip”. I pause for effect before giving them my response.

A BLANK STARE!

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