Sun shines out your ass

BLEEKER
You’re mad. Why are you mad?

JUNO
I’m not mad. I’m in a fucking great mood. Despite the fact that I’m trapped in a fat suit I can’t take off, despite the fact that everyone is making fun of me behind my back, despite the fact that your little girlfriend gave me the stinkeye in art class yesterday…

BLEEKER
Katrina’s not my girlfriend! And I doubt she was actually giving you the stinkeye. She just looks like that all the time.

JUNO
Whatever. Have fun at the prom with Soupy Sales. I’m sure I can think of something way more cool to do that night. Like I could pumice my feet, or go to Bren’s dumb Unitarian church, or get hit by a ten-ton truck full of hot garbage juice. All those things would be exponentially cooler than going to the prom with you.

BLEEKER
You’re being really immature.

JUNO
What?

That’s not how our thing works! I hurl the accusations and you talk me down, remember?

BLEEKER
Not this time. You don’t have any reason to be mad at me. You broke my heart. I should be royally ticked at you, man. I should be really cheesed off. I shouldn’t want to talk to you anymore.

JUNO
Why? Because I got bored and had sex with you one day, and then I didn’t, like, marry you?

BLEEKER
Like I’d marry you! You would be the meanest wife of all time. And anyway, I know you weren’t bored that day because there was a lot of stuff on TV. The Blair Witch Project was on Starz, and you were like, “Oh, I want to watch this, but we should make out instead. La la la.”

JUNO
Forget it, Bleek. Take Katrina the Douche Packer to the prom. I’m sure you guys will have a really bitchin’ time!

BLEEKER
Yeah, well…I still have your underwear.

JUNO
I still have your virginity!

BLEEKER
Oh my God, SHUT UP!

JUNO
What? Are you ashamed that we did it?

BLEEKER
No…

JUNO
Well at least you don’t have to walk around with the evidence under your sweater. I’m a planet!

Juno picks up her BACKPACK dejectedly and slides it over her shoulder. She’s about to walk away, when…

BLEEKER
Wait, let me take that.

JUNO
Huh?

BLEEKER
You shouldn’t be carrying that heavy bag. I’ll take it.

JUNO
Oh. It’s fine. What’s another ten pounds?

She turns around, wipes TEARS off her cheek (making sure no one sees) and continues down the hallway.

PS: Watch Juno. Do watch it. Wait, I guess I will offer one more textual snippet. Here it goes:

JUNO
Dad, it’s not about that. I just need to know that it’s possible for two people to stay happy together forever. Or at least for a few years.

MAC
It’s not easy, that’s for sure. Now, I may not have the best track record in the world, but I have been with your stepmother for ten years now, and I’m proud to say that we’re very happy.
In my opinion, the best thing you can do is to find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think that the sun shines out your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.

JUNO
I sort of already have.

Watch the movie. Will you?