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The Deloitte PPT

Deloitte Consulting India Ltd. was in the campus yesterday for it’s pre placement talk in IIT Madras. I was with my Project guide, still discussing my DDP’s progress (that’s an entirely different story) when the PPT began. My meeting was over in some time and I hurried to ICSR, where the PPT was supposed to be held.

It had stopped raining by then and I did not need the umbrella anymore. With jeans folded upto the knee level, a laptop wrapped in a polythene cover in one hand, and the closed umbrella held in another, I entered the hall and casually took a seat.

Some flash movie telling how great a company Deloitte was, was playing. It was hardly visible. It was too dark; something wrong with the projector may be. Almost everyone yawned as the movie played though for no particular reason, I didn’t.

The movie was over and these folks from the company wanted us to ask questions before they go ahead with their power point presentation. When I didn’t see anyone taking the initiative, I broke the ice.

‘Your tagline says, to be the standard of excellence. What is the time frame in which you think you can achieve this?’ They clarified that the vision only meant that whatever job they took, they aimed at setting a standard of excellence with it; the whole vision was supposed to be a continuous and an on-going process. Hmm, I see.

Many more questions were asked, and once again for no particular reason, I guess I asked maximum number of questions. 🙂

The best question that was thrown was: ‘What does your logo mean? Why’s there a green dot after Deloitte?’. Almost all of us burst into peels of laughter.

Deloitte

It was answered in the typical HR style, with all the blah about green depicting growth and energy and blah and blah. If the guy who asked this question, had asked me, I would have told him the following:

That’s a very good question. Well, green as we all know, stands for grass. All of us here at Deloitte are dopers and if you join us, we would like you to dope too. Or vision is to set standard of excellence in doping and we want it to be an on-going process.

Also, it’s a green _dot_ not a green any-other-shape because a dot stands for Doper on Top. In this firm, the more you dope, the better are your chances to climb up the hierarchical ladder and reach the top.

By the way, if you are wondering why we pay you only 5.5 lacs (CTC) while other consultants give you much more, the reason is that we don’t think any more that what we offer is needed for you to put grass 24X7.

Later, when we come to take an aptitude test, we would bring dope with us (cheers from audience on the mention of this good news), and based on much how stuff you can take in, we would shortlist some of you.

😛

8 replies on “The Deloitte PPT”

gaen.
Deloitte junta looking for some ‘dope’ on their company will google for “Deloitte dope” and will land here. they’ll read this post and deng you in placements.
not only that, they’ll probably send a mail to placements office and ask them to remove you from the pool.
and also forward your website link to other companies and ask them to ban you everywhere.

the only good thing is, vatsap.com will flourish. you’ll have a million hits.
the real vatsap wont. 😛

Dude.. If I had read this post earlier then I would have joined them much earlier.. :mrgreen:

And I had never given much thought about the green dot in the logo.. 😛
Nice observation!!

Woah….. what shit is this??? thinking yourself as cool and all:P
Grow up and then start writing something that makes sense.

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