Saw this happening on TV a couple of days ago. Himesh Reshammiya is supposedly on Ejaz Lakdawala’s hit list. It was funny to hear the Don speak himself to the news channel. What a drama!
Now all of us know why these Mumbai-ka-dons (better known as Bhai’s) threaten celebrity lives. For money! But I guess in Himesh’s case, something else happened:
Don: Hello, Himesh?
Himesh: Yeah, who is this? Look if you are some singer, try approaching me through Indian Idol. I really don’t have any time. Don’t you know that I am also doing one stupid movie? I really don’t have time.
Don: No, I am no singer.
Himesh: Then who are you?
Don: I am Don. I am Ezaz Lakdawala. I kill celebrities for money.
Himesh: Oh, so you need money from me.
Himesh: No? Why did you call me up then.
Don: I wanted to make a request to you.
Himesh: I don’t believe it. Ezaz Lakdavaala is making me a request.
Don: Yeah. I am fuckin fed up of your voice. Wherever I go, I find your songs playing. You make nice music, alright but your voice totally sucks. I beg to you. Stop singing. I will give you money for doing that. Tell me your demand.
Himesh: No money can stop me from singing. And I am anyways making enough money, thanks to my God gifted talent (read God gifted nose).
Don: I won’t ask again. You are the only celebrity who is getting money from a Don! You dare refuse me.
Himesh: I can pay you some cash. But please let me sing.
Don: I will pay you double of what you can offer. But please, stop singing. Entire India is fed up of you and your nose.
Himesh: I’ll prefer dying than not singing. I am sure that many people who kept listening to my voice for a long time must have died a painful death. I guess it’s time for me to payback. Kill me if you want to but however much you give to me, I wont stop from torturing the world.
Don: You are a dead man. Right now, at this very moment, I am putting you on top of my hitlist. Sing as many songs as you can, before I save the world from your atrocities. That will be the only good thing I would be doing in my entire life as a Don. I am hanging up now. Gotta call some news channel to give them this happy news. Because I am sure, a lot of people out there will be delighted to know that they wont have to bear you shortly. Chal bye.