I am worried about myself. I am here in the best college in India which can give anyone a masters degree in civil infrastructral engineering. It was indeed an effort to get in here. It will take more than two and a half years before I am awarded with the degree. That will be a […]
I am worried about myself.
I am here in the best college in India which can give anyone a masters degree in civil infrastructral engineering. It was indeed an effort to get in here.
It will take more than two and a half years before I am awarded with the degree. That will be a dual Bachelor’s and Masters degree.
I never feel like an engineer. Will this world respect me as an engineer when I step out of this great institute of technology?
A few moments ago, I googled for a civil infrastructure company and that led me to the webpage of “never heard before” Colorado based civil infrastructure company. There was a link that led to internship program at that place. As I read it, i found out they take about 20 guys each year as interns and involve them in their projects. Can I ever be one of them? Will they ever call ME?
There are obviously more crucial questions to be answered. Why do I want them to take me in? Well the answer is pretty simple. I wanna get hands-on experience in this engineering field because this is the area in which I am going to be called a Pro. But have I ever cared about being a Pro. Have I ever looked at things that way. No.
So you understand now why I am worried. I am worried about myself. I am worried about my attitude towards life. I dont say I dont like my attitude. I love it. But that gives me pains sometimes. Specially when I realize I have been missing on something because of the way I have set myself mentally. And just because I love this attitude so much, its so difficult to change it. Am I confusing you? Oh.. I think I should have better told you about my attitude in the first place.
I will call it “carefree”. It gives a sense of freedom when I get up with this attitude. It gives me pleasure. It lets me feel life whatever way I want to. And so i love this attitude.
But then it sure has a problem. I dont care about the future. The future’s not going to care about me. So this is how this carefree attitude gives me pain. Whenever my mind does the future-probing, the same attitude that makes blood run inside me at other time, hits me with a solid bang.
Bang Bang. I dont need to conclude all the times. Do I?? Dint I tell you I am carefree?