Yes, it’s an art. Some people are good at it. From a big pack of waffles to a sachet of the worst packed detergent powder; they can tear open the sealed wrapper in one good go. These guys kind of have it in them. Their hands find the pattern, detect the best spot on the packet, where one slight twist of the plastic in some typical angle will do the job.

I am definitely not one of these talented wrapper tearers. In the small town in which I was preparing for JEE, my bro and myself often used to get candies from shop. I never liked those which were sealed inside the world’s most secure wrappers. My bro has been good at getting things out of the packet pretty fast. It was me who suffered whenever we took halls, chloromints and sealed stuffs like that. What I usually had to do with such candies was to switch to the aid of my strong canines when fingers failed to do the magic. At times even the teeth didn’t work. And finally it used to be my bro who did the favour for me. Annoying wrappers.

This problem persists here in IIT. It happened today. There are times when all you lose is time, putting fight to tear the wrapper. Some times its a little more. Today it was a little more. I took a choco bar. And this ice-cream had been put inside such an annoyingly sealed wrapper that I had almost lost my patience. However hard I tried, it failed to break free. And the poor choco-bar lyed there inside the wrapper; waiting for me; me waiting for it. And here was this wrapper well aware of what was going to happen to it as soon as it was torn. It was like any other wrapper, refusing to obey you. This wrapper looked like the villain in a typical movie, not letting me, the Hero to reach his love, the choco bar. And by the time the villain was finally torn apart and thrown into a dust-bin, my love had melted enough. I had to devour it fast to stop it from leaking in all over my hands.

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I am worried about myself.

I am here in the best college in India which can give anyone a masters degree in civil infrastructral engineering. It was indeed an effort to get in here.

It will take more than two and a half years before I am awarded with the degree. That will be a dual Bachelor’s and Masters degree.

I never feel like an engineer. Will this world respect me as an engineer when I step out of this great institute of technology?

A few moments ago, I googled for a civil infrastructure company and that led me to the webpage of “never heard before” Colorado based civil infrastructure company. There was a link that led to internship program at that place. As I read it, i found out they take about 20 guys each year as interns and involve them in their projects. Can I ever be one of them? Will they ever call ME?
There are obviously more crucial questions to be answered. Why do I want them to take me in? Well the answer is pretty simple. I wanna get hands-on experience in this engineering field because this is the area in which I am going to be called a Pro. But have I ever cared about being a Pro. Have I ever looked at things that way. No.

So you understand now why I am worried. I am worried about myself. I am worried about my attitude towards life. I dont say I dont like my attitude. I love it. But that gives me pains sometimes. Specially when I realize I have been missing on something because of the way I have set myself mentally. And just because I love this attitude so much, its so difficult to change it. Am I confusing you? Oh.. I think I should have better told you about my attitude in the first place.

I will call it “carefree”. It gives a sense of freedom when I get up with this attitude. It gives me pleasure. It lets me feel life whatever way I want to. And so i love this attitude.

But then it sure has a problem. I dont care about the future. The future’s not going to care about me. So this is how this carefree attitude gives me pain. Whenever my mind does the future-probing, the same attitude that makes blood run inside me at other time, hits me with a solid bang.

Bang Bang. I dont need to conclude all the times. Do I?? Dint I tell you I am carefree?

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