I feel drained. For no particular reason. Definitely not because of Garba. Garba was good. On both the days that I danced. Colourful. Joyful. Music-ful. Girls and boys. Dancing all night. To non-filmi music. A humbling experience for someone who has never seen this before. I had never seen this before. I felt humble. And elated.
May be I feel drained because suddenly there are too many people around. Talking about too many things. Too many voices. Dreams. Reasons. Stratagems. Claustrophobic crowd. I am missing myself. May be when I was biking alone in the hills – the Rockies – I got too comfortable being with myself. Just me. And my God. Who lives within me anyway. So I am finding everything amusing now. And chaotic. And stupid. The same old things which I was so used to. Of which I will get used to. Once again.
I never posted a link to my cycling pictures on my blog. So here it is. For those who haven’t seen the pictures yet.
I have lost the ability to think of a stable life. A secure job. Love. Marriage. The pillars of my life are extremely fickle. Shaky. Jittery. I am living to learn something more than what I know already. Before I die. To see a couple of places more. Than those I have seen already. Before I die. To do a couple of things more. Than I have done already. Before I die. And then I will die. Once I have run out of things to learn. And places to see. And things to do. If I ever run out of all of these – life wouldn’t have any meaning anyway.
I saw Do Dooni Chaar today. With Ali. And two girls who have recently moved to the city. Same firm. Yanvi and Rushia. The movie was brilliant. One of the finest movies I have seen since a long time. There cannot be any middle-class man / woman who has lived in a metro and cannot love this movie. Or cannot relate to it. In fact when I go home the next time, I will take with me a DVD (assuming that is out by then) and would watch this movie with papa and mummy. And with Subbu and Sweety if they are around. Even when we didn’t live in a metro together. Because the movie is that good.
It feels good to be writing. It feels good to be talking to no one in particular and everyone in general. So may be that’s why I will do that more often. May be I won’t. I hate using so many may be’s. May be.
PS: I have registered for the Airtel Delhi half marathon. It is on 21st November and if they don’t dump my registration – I would be doing the first half of this year.