Gyaan humor

Shita – Chapter 4

Chapter 3<<

|| God speaks ||

So you know, all this stuff about Karm-Yogis and Non-Karm-Yogis – the Yoga-funda in brief, I had revealed it all to Vivasvan, the Sun-God. He later kept boring his son Manu with all this gyaan who in turn passed it on to Iksvaku – his son. Thus this gyaan-passing game went on for actually quite some time you know. But even then I must say that it was mostly confined to the Rajarsis – the royal sages, and gradually people forgot about it totally.

So beta, you really are a lucky bastard ‘coz you got to listen to all these Yoga-fundays directly from me.

|| Arjuna speaks ||

Saale, kuch bhi bolega? How old are you, haan? 30? 40? 200? How the fuck did YOU reveal all this crap to not even Manu, but to seedha Manu ka Baap?

|| God speaks ||

Chootiye saale – why are you forgetting that I am a bloody GOD! Kuch to izzat de! Unlike humans who forget about everything about their past lives when they take birth, I remember everything. Got it now? I reveal my real identity to people only when I see that there’s hardly anyone around who has any fuckin’ clue about this Yoga stuff and that there are just too many bastards everywhere, spreading evil, doing evil in this world . Don’t tell me that you have never seen my Yada Yada hi Dharmasya…ย  line written on all those glossy posters of us and this chariot that are sold over footpaths all across India?ย  Every couple of centuries, I have to start teaching this Yoga thing from start, quite a painย  if you ask me, but what to do! I have been doing this since long dude – since really really long. Actually, all you fellas are ultimately a part of Myself and once someone realizes this fact, he / she returns to Me after leaving the body and stuff. All the Brahmans, Ksatriyas, Vaishyas, Shudras, just about everyone – was created by me.ย  All those who realize this, don’t have to worry about being responsible for their actions.

He who sees an erection in an otherwise plump flaccid penis, and plumpness flaccidity in the erect ones, is the wisest – he is THE Yogi, Yo babbeee! Only such a dude is capable of stopping to worry about everything else and even when he does ‘nothing’ – as you would put it, he is into action at all times! And you Arjuna, you have to be a Karma-yogi and realize that if there is erection – there is plumpness flaccidity, if there is happiness – there’s sadness, if there is success – there is failure! The bottom-line is beta – a Karm-yogi is someone who realizes that his job is to keep doing what he is supposed to do ‘coz everything else is being taken care of by Me – and at the same time, he also understands that whatever he does, should be done only to benefit everyone else – not simply to feed himself. Now, that’s sacrifice for you – that’s the bottom-line – that’s Brahma – that’s all the shit you need to know about!

There are various ways in which people offer sacrifice – but that’s not really important here. I mean you can go to Wiki for more stuff on that or even pick up a copy of one of the Vedas from Landmark. What’s important for you to know is that, sacrifice performed through knowledge (of my existence and how I am responsible for so many things) is much much better than throwing away dead goats in fire and other such material stuff. As a Karma-yogi, you should let your faith rest in this knowledge of my existence, you should rest your faith in Me and get back to your work without any attachments – shanti tere ko tabhi milegi. As long as you keep living in doubts, as long as you are not sure that everything goes out from Me and then comes back to Me wonly – you will never ever be happy baby – never!

Chal, ab bahot hua abhi ke liye – shed your doubts and confusions, and go FIGHT for GOD’s sake!

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