Thanks Sallinger

Shitty shitty shit
I never liked your tit

Naah that’s no song from one of those now-dead bands. That’s just something I had to get off my chest. LOL- did I just say ‘chest’! LOL!

Anyone who steps inside a random house, picks up one of the books placed atop one of those tables with glass-top and all that, flips few pages, points out two particular words to the house-owner cum book-owner’s friend and screams – that’s me, should feel great. It so happened that I was hanging out in a soily ground full of plenty of white stalls, with one of my colleagues in the evening, when he decided to take me to XIMB. We had tea in the XIMB canteen. Inside the campus lived one of his friends from IIM – now a faculty here. So after having the tea at the canteen (that by the way took about ten hours to arrive) and after having watched India win against England where in the end Yuvraj could be seen feeling Sachin’s ass and all that dirty stuff on the canteen TV, we went to my colleague’s friend’s house and then sat on his couch and then saw Stay Hungry Stay Foolish lying on that table that I just talked about – the only book whose cover I have ever designed. The design ain’t really great or anything but it feels good to point out your name mentioned as a Cover Designer to others.

I think Sallinger has screwed up my writing style forever. Yes, I know it’s Salinger but I think two l’s make him sound so much more fuller. LOL even fuller has two l’s.

With all those LOL’s and all that, I still feel like crying everyday when I hit the bed. Hanging around with colleagues is not what I wanted to do with my life. I hate loneliness especially when it makes you scratch your balls. In spite of all this, every time mom even talks about anything that sounds a few feet close to ‘marriage’, I go all LOL over the phone. Marriage ain’t no solution – it’s just an easy way out of everything. I would prefer to keep scratching instead.

I am not sure if I should have thanked Salinger. I probably will begin hating him in some time for what he did to me. Why did he have to write that short book called The Catcher in the Rye? And even if he wrote it, why did I have to start reading it? Alright balls, stop complaining. I am lonely and you won’t even agree to me scratching you?

I definitely shouldn’t have thanked Sallllinger.