Gyaan humor

Shita – Chapter 3


Arjuna speaks

Hmm, from whatever I could make out from your confusing speech, you are trying to tell me that knowledge is superior to action – right? Abe, then why are you asking me to ‘act’ – that too – to fight in this deadly battle? Hey bhagwan, you have totally confused me.

God speaks (to further confuse Arjuna)

Beta, the way I have created human beings, it is humanly not possible for them to do ‘nothing’. Even if a dude sits down and does nothing, from inside he might be thinking about good and dirty things like say naked boobs and all that – and so you cannot really say that he is doing nothing. Even if some dude ends up controlling all his sense-organs to such an extent that his mind totally stops thinking about just everything – from boobs to number of blog-hits, do you really think he is not doing any action? Think of this – this dude who is ‘controlling’ his senses continuously so that his mind thinks of absolutely nothing is indeed doing something – controlling! He is bloody goddamn ‘trying’ to ignore that he does have a dick for example! You see? That’s WORK – pretty hard work actually. So the bottom-line Arjuna is that – everyone does work – no one can escape action – no one.

FYI – those who sit under trees trying to control their dicks are different kinds of yogis – that’s what their job is. Now, what’s your job? Dude, you are a karma-yogi and on that, you are a fighter. Your job / duty is to fight battles, lead wars. By the way, there’s another funda as well. The reason for you to take up some job, or to do something, should always be to benefit someone else. I clearly remember that old guy Brahmaย  telling everyone who had bothered to attend the inaugural function (of world’s creation) that the human beings would prosper only by sacrificing their lives for others – devoid of personal desires and attachments. You getting me right? Have sex so that you can give pleasure to your wife, not simply because your dick itches all the time. That’s the way (and the only way) to go. Once you start doing things for others, you will automatically get everything that can make you happy, without even asking.

Chee, chee, now that I can clearly see you getting a hard-on, thanks to so much of sex-references, let me give a dull example – did you know that those who eat more food than what is needed, just for pleasure-sake, commit grave sin? Why you ask? Well, because they don’t realize that the more they consume, the less they leave for others. In other words, they fail to sacrifice enough. They are bloody doomed – they can never be blessed.

Anyway, so before you crash off again, let me just summarize the lecture so far – 1. every human being acts – does something or another; and 2. acting (doing things) just for yourself, your own desires, won’t bring anything good to you – you will only commit sin – so you should do work for the general good of everybody and hence should not get attached to anything while continuing your duty.

I mean, dude look at me. I am bloody God – I already HAVE “everything”. Phir bhala mai kyoon khut raha hoon? Give me one good reason why “I” should be working, saala driving your chariot and all that. Bataa? I will tell you why – if I stop working, I will set a wrong example for everyone else and soon everyone else will stop doing his / her job (the action). If that happens – puri duniya ki vaat lag jaayegi. You getting me Arjuna? You might not be a God like me, but you are nevertheless a good leader yaar. Abhi tu nahi ladega, then what do you expect of other fighters? What will they learn from you, tell me?

So, Arjuna beta, don’t even think of running away from your duty just because of your attachment to people. As long as you keep doing your duty, the consequences of all the actions will rest on My shoulders. I assure you that no one is going to blame you for anything. I guess you have already realized that ‘you’ cannot determine the end-result anyway – that’s my job dude. When I created you guys, I wanted to make it a li’l difficult for human beings to get close to me – therefore I ensured that they have enough things in their lives to get attracted to and similarly there be enough things that they might find so disgusting that they would simply shy away from their duties. Tu bhi exactly vohi mistake kar raha hai beta. Only when you are able to ignore both these attractions and these repulsive things, you can be totally blessed by me – so what if in the processes you have to kill people.

Arjuna speaks

Achcha vo sab chhod, tu ye bata ki killing people is akin to committing sin or not?

God speaks

It is but only when you kill someone out of personal desire. This enemy that we have right here are blinded by desire. I would request you to first have full and solid control over your own senses and then go fuck these people, remembering all the time that you are out there, not to kill the bodies, but with that – you are ultimately killing the bigger enemy – their uncontrolled desires. Ja beta, ja. Sab ki gaand maar ke aa.

>> Chapter 4

6 replies on “Shita – Chapter 3”

keep writing these chapters…if there is anything authentic in them, they might help me next sem..
me taking the elective, Srimad Bhagvad Gita ๐Ÿ˜€

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