I think I have been holding on too much with myself. I don’t talk about my problems. I don’t speak much. I keep the philosophies that come to me, with myself. Why? Why am I afraid of sharing crappy things that come to my mind with everyone? Why is there this urge to not let the real me out in public? I am just one man. There are millions of men, and women on this planet.  Then why is my image so important to me? Or anyone else?

I hate this mystery around me. I hate to hide things, not that I am great at hiding anyway.

Could it be because I have grown up in a system where words are spoken in such a way that they don’t hurt anyone? And when they do, that should be intentional?

Could it be because I have grown up in a society where we have been made to believe that certain feelings are grave sins (having the desire to have incest sex, having the desire to kill your children, so on and so forth)?

You might not like to accept it dear reader, but each one of you, just like me, lives your life in fear. Your fear helps you suppress you true desires; fear of how others will look at you. Sometimes certain desires are so fucking suppressed that you don’t even know that they exist. You feel them very slightly at times, but then you tell it to yourself: it can’t be real. You live in the fear that accepting anything that’s unacceptable even by your own standards is the most stupid thing you would do. Accepting to door ki baat hai, you don’t even genuinely believe about the existence of so many things inside you.

The real you does not exist. Neither inside you, nor inside others. Enjoy living in this artificial world. Enjoy living in fear.

10 replies on “Fear”

We say fuck fear but do we really do? I totally agree with you. We all have our own fears and we compromise a lot to satisfy them.

Person who shed their fears are there in our history books.

This sense of fear which comes so naturally to us is not such a bad thing as it is made out to be. It is this very fear which keeps the world the way it is.

How easy is the act of committing suicide. All you need to do is climb up a building and jump. On other hand, in order to write your board exams, you have to spend 5-6 hours a day mugging uninteresting dry information for a year and then write your exams under intense family and peer pressure. But, everyone writes the board and no one commits suicide. Why? Even though we have been given a great power of taking our lives very easily, we also have been “gifted” with great fear which stops us from doing so. Yes, this fear affects our freedom to do what we want. But, isn’t complete freedom another name for anarchy?

“But, everyone writes the board and no one commits suicide”

I guess you meant to say, most of us don’t do it. ‘Everyone’ would not apply. But anyway, your point remains same.

I am not that everyone who doesn’t commit suicide doesn’t do so, only because he fears dying! It could be something else as well!

Freedom comes from inside first. To free yourself of your own chains is what I was referring to and that is definitely not another name for anarchy, or is it? 🙂

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