I don’t like numbers

I don’t like numbers. Even natural numbers are hardly natural! I mean, they are bloody endless. There  always is a number bigger than the biggest number you can tell. In fact, there is no such thing called the biggest number. Now, how natural is that, huh? Either mathematicians never cared about language or they had a sick sense of humor that made them pick such ironical names.

Just when the Asians invented zero, quite convinced that no natural number could ever attain a value less than it (because it symbolized the absence of everything; the void; the nothing), some smart ass came up with this brilliant idea of using a minus sign before the natural numbers, calling them negative. Wow, there you go.  Applause! When the story began, there was no upper limit. And now, even the lower limit was rendered a non-existent concept. Negative numbers are just so weird a concept, aren’t they? I fucked her minus five times in plus six hours! Go, make sense out of it.

If negative numbers are weird, imaginary numbers are definitely the worst kind of shit that has been thrown at mankind by the mathematicians, and quite surprisingly, gracefully accepted by the shit-crazy mankind. I mean, imaginary? WTF? And just when everyone started getting uneasy to see real numbers and imaginary numbers walk along, hand in hand, someone went ahead and suggested the name complex for the couple? Complex? You see an unnatural bastard walking with an imaginary piece of crap, and you call it complex? I might be able to, just might be able to convince myself that it probably isn’t that sad to live in a society where irrational numbers are given equal respect or may be more than the sweet and simple rationals, but you give me imaginary ones and I have just one thing to say: shove the polar coordinate system up your elliptical ass.

Bottomline: I don’t want to be an investment banker.